The reason of "no more"

28 Jun

He walked slowly to nowhere. Well, not exactly nowhere, but it felt like it. On he walked, lost in his mind. “What did I do wrong?” Not that something was wrong, but it felt like it. Something was always amiss with him; he could not make his mind up. Today though he was what you would call down. Nothing was different; or was it, and he hadn’t realized?

It felt like the end, or the beginning of it. It felt like “no more” was the right expression. But then again those were just feelings. He would go back to his apartment, and be the same old he; old me.

“Sir, can you help me?” I; he heard from somewhere. He turned, and saw the little girl just behind, a few steps from where he stand.

“Sorry?” he answered, still half-waked.

“Can you help me?” she said again in the same tone, with the same expression – if there was one at all.

“What can I help you with?”

“Can you answer me one question?” those eyes were penetrating, still something was off.

“Sure,” he answered.

“Have you found joy in your life?”

“What?”

“Joy. Have you found it?”

What was it? What was she talking about? Who was she? He asked hundreds of questions in his head, trying not to think about the one he was questioned.

“Girl, are you lost?”

“Not as lost as you seem to be. You in the other hand is so lost… why do you deny it to yourself? Why don’t you let your mind wander in my question? Do you know what joy is?”

What is joy? Sense of happiness, but he wasn’t happy. He knew it. He has content for now, but not happy.

“Yes, you have now thought about joy for the first time. Do me a favor, do yourself a favor. Go home and sleep; and let your mind fly away; let it go where you can’t. When you wake up, you’ll have your answer, you’ll know what joy means for you.”

“Who are you?”

“Me? Well, I’m your right expression, I’m “no more”,” and with that she walked away.

I did it, I went home and slept. He let his mind run away to meet new horizons, and when it came back it was different. Well not different, but it certainly felt like it.

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